Dec 6, 2018
Hi everyone! This is Connie Sokol, and you're listening to Balance Redefined Radio. I've spent over 20 years teaching people how to redefine what balance really is, meaning a more purposeful and joyful life.
They’ve paid off credit cards, lost weight, organize their homes, and created a meaningful life plan and they've managed their time, changed habits and experience greater success both at work and at home.
So now I decided to take the plunge and help about 100,000 new people who want to redefine balance in their lives. People ask me all the time, “How do I go from an overwhelming and chaotic life to more purpose and organization and joy?”
That's the reason why I'm doing this podcast, to give you trusted answers and create a space where you could find balance. My name is Connie Sokol and welcome to Balance Redefined Radio…
[00:00] Welcome back to Balance Redefined and this Christ centered Christmas series that I'm doing, I hope you're enjoying. I'm basing it on my 40 days with the savior book.
[00:09] It's a daily devotional, nondenominational book that just gives insights into the traits and character of Jesus Christ and how we can utilize it to become better people just every day a little bit better and giving you some scripture and some thoughts and experiences, some thought provoking questions that hopefully will help you have a more Christ centered Christmas and feel more peace, love and joy on a daily basis.
[00:31] So today I'm talking about he is aware. How aware do you think that Jesus Christ is of you and your life and what you're going through? Have you ever thought about that?
[00:43] I've thought about that a lot over the years as I've gone through a lot of difficult experiences. My son has asperger's.
[00:50] My children, they have ADD and ADHD, depression, anxiety, a lot of genetic gifts that we have been given and being able to go through difficulties go through health issues, financial issues, divorce and different things that have been difficult and struggles...
[01:08] I have to tell you, I am truly and profoundly grateful for the awareness that I know that he has for me and my family and that's not because we're special.
[01:22] It's because he has that for every single person on the planet and I know that I know that to my soul and so I got thinking about this. How do we know that he is aware? How do we know that he is aware, and then how can we learn from that and become more aware in our lives as well.
[01:40] I love this leading scripture. I have a scripture for each one and this one is Matthew 9:30-36, so chapter nine verses 35 through 36,
[01:48] "And Jesus went about all the cities and villages teaching in their synagogues and preaching the gospel of the Kingdom and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.
[02:04] ...But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them."
[02:10] You know, the thing that makes him so aware is that he loves. He has great infinite compassion and so that compassion, I believe makes him so sensitive and so fully aware.
[02:25] Have you experienced that in your life when you've gone through something that you didn't expect and then because you went through it, you were so much more aware of others who were in that situation and so much more compassionate about how they needed to be helped or served or loved or help to a healing place.
[02:45] I found that for myself when I miscarried, just different things that you don't you don't anticipate, you don't think much about, but then when you go through it, suddenly your level of compassion and awareness is just so deepened.
[02:59] My daughter once shared a story about a little girl bringing her favorite treat to a classroom "trading day," quote unquote, so when you trade things back and forth.
[03:08] It was an elementary school and still throughout the day's trading, she noticed that a little boy with several small rocks on his desk and did not had any trading interests from others.
[03:18] You can imagine what might have been on the desks of other kids, but here he brought these little rocks...
[03:22] You can imagine it's either his favorite collection or he maybe doesn't have anything more to bring, but in this story the little girl didn't want Iraq, so note that Jenny Mondo Rock, but after awhile she could tell that this little boy was sad without having anyone take notice or even want to participate with him.
[03:42] So what did she do? She offered a treat for a rock and then she surprised herself by asking, "Hey, do you want to play basketball?" And he happily accepted both offers.
[03:54] And what I love about this story is that this girl was aware...
[03:58] She was not just intent on trading to the best thing on her desk and isn't that so symbolic in life?
[04:06] We say, "I got to sell this thing. I gotta do this thing. I got to push this thing," whatever it is that we're focused on doing that seems so, so important...
[04:14] But instead she was taking the big picture. She was looking around and seeing how everyone was doing and notice this little boy that's profound to me, that is meaningful to me and that helps me remember what matters most. I love that and that's exactly how Jesus Christ was completely aware of each person and their particular needs, especially when they are not like me jumping on and jumping up and down and saying, "I'm here."
[04:38] "...I'm here. Pick me. Pick me." When those people were in the background, when they were over by the pool of Bethesda, they didn't know how to get into that water. They didn't know anybody else who could actually help them.
[04:51] They were in the shadows. So consider that...
[04:55] How aware are we? That's the first thing. How aware are we of others? How aware are we of those that are around us, that we work with? How often do we look and say, "Wow," especially when you're managing people, do you see them as people or just as people to get things done for the product or service?
[05:17] Do you know if they have children who are sick? Do you know if they're caring for their aging mother? Do you know when their birthday is in? Do you genuinely celebrate it and be happy for them and say, "Hey, what are you doing today for that?"
[05:27] I have renters. I love being able to stay in connection with them and was just talking with my children the other night. We have been so blessed by these wonderful renters. They're kind, they're loving.
[05:38] They pay their rent on time, they take good care of these places that we have and that we've put our time and energy into and they've been wonderful.
[05:47] One of my renters, they were the ones that brought a meal to us when we were in the fire. I mean, drove 30-40 minutes down to give us a meal. It was just, it was amazing. I was talking with my children about this and I said, "Always, always see people as people."
[06:03] They're not just things. They're not just, you know, vehicles or obstacles to your way. They have lives. They have stories. They have experiences and as you treat them with love, they will love you back and not always in the way we want to be loved. It's not required, but they will. They will have a happiness in their heart for you.
[06:23] So how aware are we? I know this is something I work on all the time because I'm a fast, fast person.
[06:28] I like to speak fast. I like to walk fast. I like to write fast, allegedly fast, but I have had to learn and keep learning to be able to stop, slow down and see people.
[06:39] I know in our neighborhood there's a young adult woman who she suffers from mental illness and she has the mindset of a young child...
[06:46] But whenever we wave or we say, "Hello," she kind of brightens a little bit, but whenever we see her that's what we do.
[06:54] One day her mother approached me with a note and a sweet smile. And in that note she thanked me for one of my children, my boy who had been giving her some sweet attention.
[07:06] Now my son at the time was a teenager and you know, they're at that age where as a teenage guy, it's really not that cool for you to recognize someone who's a special needs girl and give them any kind of attention.
[07:17] I'm sorry. That's just how often it is. Not always though...
[07:20] I know so many good fine young men, so not across the board, but I am saying it tends to be the case, and I had no idea that my sweet boy was doing that.
[07:31] But she shared in that note that he made a special effort to say "hello," talk with and to listen to her. And this young woman had actually made a Valentine for my teenage son and when she gave it to him, he didn't balk at it or throw it away.
[07:46] Apparently he had just quietly made a kind note for her in return.
[07:50] Sorry. And I didn't know any of this, you know? It made me feel kind of bad for getting after him about cleaning up his room. So for a moment anyway, how grateful I was for his tender awareness and for his kindness and his compassion especially without any fanfare, which I loved.
[08:08] So that awareness leads to that second thing which is to act, to choose how you want to act, to choose how you want to respond to whatever it is that you're aware of.
[08:19] And sometimes we don't want to acknowledge we're aware of something. Mostly because we feel like, "Oh, now I've got to solve that person's problem."
[08:27] We don't. We really, really don't. Yes, there are some people who are, you know, feeling that desperate feeling, you know, that feeling of you just want someone to solve it.
[08:36] But generally speaking, people just appreciate being seen that they're hurt and their grief is being seen and that you just can sit with them for five minutes. Even if you only have five minutes, you can say, "You know, I really care about you, and I think that you're not looking like yourself lately."
[08:54] Or "You look stressed. I've got like five minutes, and I've hesitated to even say because I only have five minutes, but I want to give you this five minutes. Is there anything you want to share? AnythIng that I can help you with, anything that you want me to do, even if it's just sit and hold your hand in silence for five minutes. I'm right here. I want to do that for you."
[09:16] Even if we just do something like that, sometimes we can get kind of wrapped up and think, "Well, if I can't bring a whole meal, then I'm not just going to bring buy cookies," or "If I can't bring by cookies, well then I'm not even going to stop by," and that's not how we can look at it.
[09:32] That's not how it needs to be. It can just be whatever our heart says we can offer and we can be clear about it...
[09:38] I know for myself, once I'm home, I just don't like to be bothered. It sounds terrible, but I'll go out, I'll visit, I'll do and I'll bring. But I love to just be cocooned in my home with my children and give them my attention and my focus and then, and then lie down, especially in the evening.
[09:53] And so because of that, sometimes I've not been very encouraging for people to take a lot of time coming in the door and sit and talk after I've been talking all day long to others and that it's not an excuse, it just is a reality that I've needed to deal with.
[10:06] And over the last year or so I've really been trying hard to make my heart open and then be clear about those boundaries. And there was a gal that I noticed my neighbor who a few days ago I saw her and I thought, "I just got this hit."
[10:19] She just wasn't seeming the same. She seemed like stress, like I had been sharing earlier about an example and she seemed a little stressed but I didn't get over there and I didn't ask her about it and we all have those moments.
[10:19] But she had brought her a meal because they had done a nice service for us. So I brought them. We brought them a meal on sunday and she came back to drop off the dishes and she had texted me and said, "Hey, are you home?"
[10:19] And I was like, "Oh, I'm not home right now, but you can come by later."
[10:19] I thought, "Well if she's texting to bring dishes by, she must need to talk and I kind of mentally prepared," but at this time my little guy was just coming back from being gone, and I had my six year old. I knew he was going to need attention.
[10:59] And so I was like, "Oh, I hope she comes earlier than that. And you know exactly what happened. She happened to pop over, was at the door and I knew my little guy was coming home in just a little bit.
[11:08] And I thought, "Oh, what do I do?" And I just thought, "Would you like to come in? Do you want to sit for a minute? Are you doing okay?" She ended up talking for, I think it was about an hour. Then my little guy came in, and I gave him a love and I had my girls go be with him for a bit. And it all worked out.
[11:23] But it felt good to know that she needed that and that I could give it freely...
[11:30] I wasn't looking at my watch. I wasn't feeling resentment. I just gave it freely. So it's something to consider-that awareness and then freely give it.
[11:40] Even if you need to set a boundary, freely give whatever it is that you can do.
[11:45] And then the last one is to appreciate. That awareness that we have, we see others in their situations who they are and then we act, we do.
[11:54] It makes us appreciate not only them, but the good that we have in our lives and the people who love and serve us and ultimately to appreciate Jesus Christ.
[12:05] And again, whatever you have in your life, fill that in with the deity or the religious influence or the spiritual influence that you have in your life. I don't mention that all the time because I have said that in several podcasts, so that doesn't get annoying.
[12:17] But I love that. I love that we become more grateful and as we become more grateful, guess what? This beautiful cycle will become more aware and then we act more to do good things and then we appreciate.
[12:30] We appreciate them. We appreciate our lives, we appreciate dad, we appreciate god and jesus christ. It's just this beautiful serving cycle. It's just fantastic and I love it. So I want you to consider that.
[12:43] Consider how these three ways of being more like Jesus Christ, starting with that awareness helps us come to a place of it betters us every single time we try to be a little bit more like Jesus Christ.
[12:59] We become better, happier, more peaceful, more loving, more kind. That's just the reality...
[13:06] So my thought provoking question for you today is how can you be more aware of or more readily act on the needs of someone else? I hope you've enjoyed this today and get ready for more podcasts. You just simply need to click for more Balanced Redefined.
You got it. Thanks for listening and remember to rate and subscribe. And if you are feeling the need for real balance in your life, get your free 3-Step Life Plan, and get started today! Just go to conniesokol.com/download.